top of page
viviennekhz1

Q&A: Supporting Your Child When Others Seem to Excel: 5 Strategies to Build Confidence and Resilience


Question from parents:

"Why are some people naturally so good at math and able to work on it for hours without struggling, while my child finds it so challenging?"


Answers from Math Lobby:

Hi parents, I hear you and you are not alone. It can be really tough to watch other students breeze through math or naturally excel while your child struggles. It’s not just about the grades—it’s the emotions tied to it: the frustration, the self-doubt, the feeling that they’ll never measure up.


I want you to know something right from the start: your child has their own strengths, and there is so much you can do to help them thrive. It’s not about competing with others—it’s about building their confidence, resilience and love for learning.


Let’s explore five practical strategies that you can start using right now to help your child navigate this phase.


1. Reframe the Conversation Around Effort, Not Talent

It’s tempting to compare, but focusing on natural ability creates unnecessary pressure. Instead, celebrate the value of hard work and persistence.

“I’m proud of how much effort you’re putting into this problem.”

Research shows that praising effort over innate ability helps children develop a growth mindset. When they start seeing challenges as opportunities to grow, rather than proof of their limits, they’ll begin to feel more capable and motivated.


2. Help Them Set Personal Goals

It’s easy for teenagers to feel overwhelmed if they’re always measuring themselves against top performers. Help your child shift the focus inward.

“What’s one thing you’d like to improve this week? Let’s set a goal to work on it together.”

Maybe it is getting faster at multiplication or mastering a tricky algebra concept. Break it down into achievable steps and celebrate those wins. Personal progress is the best kind of progress.


3. Make Math Manageable and Fun

Long study sessions don’t work for everyone. Some kids excel with short, focused bursts of learning. Try setting a timer for 25 minutes (the Pomodoro Technique), followed by a quick break.

Get creative! Math games, puzzles, or apps like Prodigy or Khan Academy can help make math less intimidating. The goal is to help them see math as a challenge they can tackle—not a mountain to climb.


4. Build Resilience Through Failure

No one likes to fail, but failure is such an important part of learning. If your child gets a problem wrong, encourage them to see it as a chance to improve rather than a sign they’re not good enough.

“Mistakes mean your brain is working hard to learn. Let’s figure this out together.”

When you normalize failure as part of the process, you take the sting out of it. Over time, they will build resilience, knowing they can overcome obstacles with persistence.


5. Remind Them That Everyone Has Their Own Journey

It is hard to watch someone else excel while your child struggles, but every student’s path is different. Some kids might shine now, but that doesn’t mean your child won’t bloom later.

“Your strengths will show in time. Let’s keep working, and don’t worry about what others are doing.”

Encourage them to find their own pace and focus on what they can control. Success isn’t about being the best; it’s about doing your best.


A Final Thought

Parenting through this phase isn’t easy, but you are already taking the right step by being here, thinking about how to support your child. They don’t need to be a math prodigy to succeed in life—they need to feel supported, encouraged and confident in their ability to grow.


Remember, you are not alone in this journey. As a teacher of Math Lobby, I always here to listen, share insights and help you brainstorm strategies to support your child. Together, we can navigate this and make a difference

0 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

How to improve Number Sense in Math

Number sense is the ability to understand and work with numbers flexibly and confidently. It helps students see patterns, make...

How to help your Secondary 1 child in Math?

Your child has just received their PSLE results and Secondary One Math might feel like a big jump. Concepts like algebra, geometry and...

Comments


bottom of page